"Be the change you want to see in the world"

In a dramatic change of events...

2005-09-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

My, how things can change in such a short time. On tuesday i was offered two part time jobs....one as a P.E. instructor at an elementary school, the other as a housing manager at a local single people transitional family. I applied for both...the prospect of having some extra income was really appealing...i guess i've been broke to long. So, for the manager i was going to over see 20 units for a total of four apartment complexes...i would get a free one bedroom apartment...a whole apartment. This looked good financially but not to good academically...but the money really called me out. Finally, i decided to go with peace of mind and not go with the manager position...so i only applied to the P.E. one.

On a lighter note, school is going ok...i still haven't bought all my books yet, but for some of my classes i could buy them one at a time according to when i need them. My statistics professor is going to lend me one of his books which will save me about $100. The only book I really need is the social research book, the good thing is that their is one in the library...and if you are a graduate student you can check it out all semester long, i just need to find a friend to hook it up. Probably nana, that's the only one i could think of...who else is in a program???...
more latter...

Stress...

2005-08-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

No much can get to me...but money always stresses me out. Not because use a lot of it...because i make so little. And don't need that much...i just want enough to do the things i want to do in life...well except buying a house. (The prospects of buying a house really sucks right now...and i don't think i want to "owe myself out of existence"). Right now just getting started on school is a problem...i worked all summer on these crummy jobs that don't pay much and now i'm looking at bearly making it for the first month...its always the first month. As soon as you pay tuition ($1700), rent ($450 + deposit $200), and books ($200), and of course you set you self with a pretty good job you'll be fine. But their is always something that come up...the work i was at hold the check for one month...that means i'm not getting my money until Sept 30 (Approx, $1,300)...which is 15 days after the final date to pay for tuition.

So what my briliant partner advised me to do is to write a check on Sept 15 and hope my the time they clear it up and maybe threaten me it will be the Sept. 30...and then i will be able to pay them in full...in other words buy my time (apparently she has had some expereince in loop holes). I don't like the idea just because two weeks is such a long time, if it was one week then i think it might work...but what i'm hoping for is that the campus collector (who by the way are brutal, i've had some hard negociation with them..i guess they deal with these things all the time and they try to scare the student) will not want to drop my classes and cut me some slack...i've got circomstance on my side. It the best option i've got.

The other money is coming from my new job i should be getting about $400 on sept. 7 and the same on the 23rd...if i can get past september i should be good. I arranged it with my landlord to pay him on the 7th...but what he doesn't know is that i won't have the deposit...again circomstance..i'll be in the room already...he can't take me out then. I've given the deposit in payment with him before...but he's a grauch (SP??)...so you have to work him...in a good way of course.

So that is my thing right now...classes are nice i just went to my first class and it seems like is going to be a good one...you can always tell from the beginning if the class is going to cool. I have four classes tomorrow it's my longest day...i'm looking foward to them.

Monday and tuesday miguel ( a good friend of mine) and i went Mt. biking by the los gatos reseviour...that was one of the coolest things i have done ever...especially the coming down. We went really high...i didn't think you could go that high on the bike...he has these special mt. bikes. The next day he took me to this easier course at this park in sanjo...much better...not so high but still very difficult. I'm thinking i might get into mountain biking...he says he might be selling one of the his bikes, so we'll see what happens. He was telling me that the snow resorts are doing mt. bikes lifts when their is no snow...so you can ride up and come down the mountain on the bike...down hill biking is really cool too. I'm not expereinced and don't have the equipment but i think i want to try it. I think it that fine line of being safe and the potential of getting hurts that bring up the adrenaline...it like the "flight" part of the "fight or flight" expereince but in a some what controled environment.

I just talked to my advisor and i don't have to take one of the classes that i thought i need to take...so i'm only taking 15 units....which is good, cuz i was going to go crazy with 18 units.

My compadres and my god-daughter is in sanjo...i'm happy i'm going my good friend here. Also, my god-daughter...she it growning to fast...she is learning english. She is 3 years old and she english like my mom...it sound really cute. She is really tring though. I'm staying with them until sunday, which is when my room is going to be ready they are changing the carpet....things are looking good...well...almost...if they don't drop my classes on the 16 then i should be fine.

If they give me an altumative i'm going to have to do a massive phone-a-thon...lets hope it doesn't get to that point.

From the ivory tower of San Pepe State University in the jungle of silicon valley...signing off...Amado Guererro (pen name of a pinoy poet)

Four Religious Truths

2005-08-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.

2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.

this is my last semester...really, i swear!!

2005-08-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

After a much anticipated time i have finally tied up all my loose end and i'm going to finish my two majors and minor....Social Science, Sociology, and Philosophy. it only took me a couple of years more...a decade of my life...well more like six years...not including my backpacking trip through south america and my save my relationship semester break. Of course like always i don't regread anything..." what ever happened, happened and couldn't have happened any other way"...i like to think of my self as half realist and half romantic....so when it comes to school ever since high school i haven't been the sharpest tool in the shed ( i know it all relative, but when you hang out with over achiever then it's pretty obvious your on the slow lane) but don't let my laid back personally confuse you...i am a fighter and anything that i put my mind to i have done...i believe in my self...i have out done any of my expectations and im looking for new goals...its a beautiful time in my life. As far as being romantic, the more i think about it the more i see my self as a professor at a university...i might not have the raw talent but i have the will and passion for it. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, being to modest to admite to my selft that i can do it...but i don't see any way around it...i couldn't do any other job...vocation.

I'm just hoping it not going to take me 20 years to do it...some people might think. I'll just have to make believers out of them...actions speaks louder than words. I'm going straight through my master...tow years max and...well....with my Ph.D well lets shoot for three...sounds doable. Now i just got to figure out what i'm going to focus on...that's just a minor detail....

Cirque du Soleil...come one, come all...

2005-08-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

About a couple of years ago i went to one of these show...it was worth the price. They are coming back to sanjo jan-feb. If anyone wants to go...i would like to go again, holla back. Last time we got about 6 people who wanted to go. cheap seat, which are not that bad are $45 regular, $40 student and $31 children (2-12). You can go to there website and check out there schedual...also reservation are also available, pay on line and get you tickets, thats what i did last time. peace

Music

2005-08-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Music is something i wish i would have picked up sooner...but my philosophy is that it is never too late. One of the greatest poets didn't start writing his beautiful lirics until he was 40 (RUMI). I guess what i'm saying is that i have been practicing guitar lately and i have been feeling a lot more confortable with the positions and strumming, i rock out with the five cords i know some times. I'm just glad that it is starting to sound like music...i'm getting past the inicial stage of suckyness...i think i have my head about water. It's not going to be down hill from now, but it is going to be more musical. I was one of my best friends play in his bad yesterday...it was really inpriational. To think that we started about the same time...the difference between us being committement. I feel really inspired by him and my increasing ability. I can't do a song yet, though i'm really close. I'm praciticing green eyes by coldplay, though i have modified it to brown eyes for my honey....it one of our songs...the other being a ben harper jam...that one is next.

The reason i'm cool is because i have all this free time because i don't go to work until 4pm. On one side i wish i could make more money by having more hours (and i have tried) but on the other side i 'm enjoying my last days of summer, which has turn out to be a very eventful. We have gone kayaking, hiking, to a couple of theme parks, taken a dance class, and spend some time with my honey. THe only thing not going to be accomplished this summer which i wanted to do is sky diving, due to money....but it will get done...it always money with me.

My brother hugo went to the hospital recently due to an infection...he got cut and didn't take care of it correctly. Everybody thought it was due to some kind of alcoholic thing since he has been drinking heavily for many years now. He is staying with my other brother for the time being. I haven't been able to see him, but i will within the next couple of days...i'll keep you guys informed. That all for now peace.

Philosophy for life

2005-08-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am working on my graduate application and essay...and i can't figure out what i want to focus on...i can't pinpoint it. I know i want to work more with theories and concepts, something i didn't get enough in sociology or social science...i guess thats what happens when you go to a state school. I have been reading quite a bit of Cornell West latelty...i like his style, except for the religious thing. Apperently he is a pastor and a self ploclaim American Pragmatist (or what he calls Prophetic Pragmatist) which is basically trying to reconcile science (or scientific rationale) with religion....especially after the enlightment period. He has many other stuff but this is one of his big ones...and for me i'm trying to get away from religion on a personal level. I can't deny or confirm, so i won't bother with such trivial things...i'm not against it because i know what it means to community (agency and cultural citizenship) but i'm not for it becuase their is many supresive elements that are counter intuative (cuz your reliant on an outside source)...enough of that...

So i'm trying to figure things out and i feel a little self counsoius about it...any now it is a different field i am applying too, but still. I'm interested in social justice and social thought so if anyone has any leads in this area within philosophy it would be greatly appreciated. This does not affect my interest in philosophy, thought i still don't know if and when i decided on a Ph.D. that philosophy is going to be my area...though we do need more chican@s in this area.

Dreams

2005-08-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

Are you ever afraid of your dreams?? Do you ever acknoledge that you are dreaming??I haven't dreamt in a long time...its crazy the last time a took cafeine i had some weird semi-wake feeling...my mind was reeling with thougts, i couldn't help my self...i had my school work in my head and i was going over the material i was cover again and again and again....dialectics, hierarchy, partriarchy, ism, ism, scisms, power relation...it really interests me...but i felt a little crazy for a fleeting moment when i woke up. I can be like that even when i'm not asleep or on cafeine...I have no idea what dreams mean...but i do know sometimes at least with me I let my superstition get the best of me...because that is also part of our conscience...myths, beliefs, etc...How to seperate the our truth from all of that?

2005-08-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

My mother is getting at that age that makes me worry about her a lot. She is not the healthiest person and is getting up there with her age (66). For the past couple of years i have felt this feeling that i won't have her for much longer. I hardly ever see her and we haven't been close since i was 15, but knowing she exists even if i don't come in contact with her helps me feel balanced...one thing i know it that she loves me very much, but we are of very different world which keeps us apart....

LBC...Long beach Califas...

2005-08-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

I just got back from visiting my mother...it has been a while since i have seen her...maybe six months. I took her to Universal Studios...it was her first time. It was like she was a little girl again (she is 66 now) she was screaming at all the shows. She tell me that she has been wanting to come for the longest time. It looks like she lots of fun...she could stop talking about it. Many time she thought it was real senerios with the actors...she would ask me every so often to make sure. I was my first time too (my honeys too) i thought the water world show was the best...though i didn't to all of them. It was hot all day, i was happy to come back to the freshness of monterey bay...maybe next time we can do all the rides.

summer jobs suck...!!!

2005-07-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

I got another job, not much different than the last one. Instead of pushing hardware I’m pushing paper. The good news is that I work have the time and still make a little bit more. The bad news is that I don’t get to listen to the radio as much…NPR.

I was working at this place called tailgater…they make latter thinamagijjers for cars...electric. There are lots of little part to put together…it like an assembly plant and it mind numbing boring…or it was. What I did was take my little radio and just listen to National Public Radio all day…for ten hours. The way the company worked it is that they ask employees to come for four day but to work for ten hours…I had to wake up at 5 am to start at 6am and went til 4;30. I would listen to both U.S. and Mexican politics all day…that was interesting. Them politicians on both sides of the boarder are full of shit…you see I follow politics but I don’t really believe in them…I have never voted. I don’t believe in it…it is rigged. I refuse to get into that emotional roller coaster and get caught up in shit that is going to be the same either way. I’m not so pessimistic about everything in life, just politics….for the record I do believe in community organizing and such…that’s were the real change happens.

Anyways the job I have now is working at the adult school…I only work 5 hours (though I want more). This is only a temp job while I got back to school…which should be in a about a month. Last semester finally…then another two more year for my masters. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I want to focus on…hopefully reading cornell west helps…it always does. He’s pretty cool except for his religious stuff…if anybody else has any other philosophers in mind....

Going to visit my mother next weekend in long beach…its been a while since I have seen her, it should be good. I’m going to take her to Universal Studios…it’s going to be my first time too.

My honey and I ran the wharf to wharf in Santa Cruz this weekend. It was pretty cool their was about 16,000 people that ran the race. Their was beach ball being bounced around at the start line before the race and tons of bands along the race. I did my best time yet, finishing it in 49 minutes (6.23 miles) last time I did it was 57 minutes…for this one the course was hilly the last one was flat. I did each mile in less than 8 minutes …7.9 to be exact. This is huge…it has only been a year and a half that I committed my self to this and I am steadily progressing…it triatholon or bust for November….wish me luck…

Drive in

2005-07-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

It has been years since the last time i have gone to a drive in...i don't even remember the last movie i saw. One of my most memerable moment is La Bamba, i saw it in what is now a save mart lot in salinas...second is hell raiser (sp??)...that scary movie with the dudes with the spikes in his head. Anyway we went to santa cruz yesterday and chilled out in the down town area. Later we went to the drive in to see batman and the second feature was the smiths...it cost 8 bucks per person but you get to see two movies for that price. Pre-movie activies are pretty cool too because people are playing some sports before the sun goes down pretty chill vibe...

One of the things i always wanted to do when i had my VW convertable is go the the drive in and chill with the top down...never did it, i wish i would have. This time i fixed the back of my little SUV and made a bed in the back...so my honey and i chilled out in the bed watching the movie...it was a pretty cool experience, i would like to continue doing it, so if anyone is interested...maybe with a air bed next time to maximize comfort. We bought drink and snack from the local safeway...so we were set.

I have been looking for wetsuit for the trithalon in november but they are hella expensive...up to 400-500 buck, their crazy...i looked at ebay and their is some good one for about mid hundreds...even cheaper than that, i think i might go with the cheapest for now and work my way to better gear. It can get pretty expensive witht the race, 85 registrati0n, about 100 wetsuit, sweatsuit, bike...their is some bikes for over 1000 buck!!! I think i saw one at costco for about 160, but not appropriate for what i want. We went bike shoping for annabelle yesterday and saw some hybrids (road bike and mountain bike) smaller tires, light but with all the shocks...they were pretty cool they run about 270. got to go talk later...planning to mountain biking with my friend Miguel next week maybe even hiking.

ok where was i...

2005-07-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

...right...so we found this really cool spot where near soledad...that was some serious caving expedition. We plan to go back there and do the bigger trail...i really want to learn how to rock clim...i saw some kids doing it with their grand dad, that was cool...

out doors man...

2005-07-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

My honey and i went to this beautiful hike which is located right behind the city of soleda...the pinnicles. Their is lots to do their...we took the 2 mile hike into these caves...some real caves, we had to take flash lights and everying. There is more hiking area too...the longest one is an eight mile 5hr hike...i really want to do it...i really like hiking. I want to take some climbing lessons to so i can do some climbing and repelling, some emergency training too...i really dig the outdoor. My friend miguel told me their is a 10hr hike in Yosemite....that would be really cool to. Maybe this summer...by the way i really want to go sky diving this summer. I'll keep you informed in you guys want to come.

got to go to the store be back later

summer time

2005-06-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

i hate beaurocracy...i just had to miss a whole day of work to check up on a ticket that i had aready payed...they didn't answer my phone calls that i had made prior....nothing serious wrong left turn and not proof of insurance...at least not on me, the car did have it though.

Any ways, like i have says before i really just trying to relax this summer and spend some quality time with my honey, oh yeah and read...i have a couple of books that i want to read before the semester starts. My compadre and i have decided to read Franz Fanon's "the wrechted of the earth" and have periodic discussions about it...on the other hand and honey and i will soon start "east of eden", we just finished "the dirty girsl social club"...i think i have already talked about it, check it out it is good.

Some of my goals this summer, even though i only have about a month and a half left are spending some quality time with my close ones, reading some good books, taking a dance clase with my honey, learning to play and sing one song on the guitar, train for the triatholon in Nov. and the half marathon in oct...which i have been pretty consistently. I had lunch with my friend miguel yesterday regarding our plans to particiapate on the escape from alcatraz triatholon...the only thing that gets me nervious is the open water swimming...but i'm sure with the proper training we will be ok...swimming would be both of our weakness's.

Other than that nothing evenfull, i want to starting my letter of intent for the master's program so i don't have to worry about it during the semester...i'll be applying for fall of next year...i'm really exited about it...wish me luck.

Oh yeah, if i can afford it i would like to go skydiving this summer...so for all you ya'll that have told me that you would be down i'll be calling you... also if any one want to visit Monterey just contact me an i'll be you personal guide...peace

MIA (missing in action)

2005-06-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

Ok so i have trasitioning into my new life, or summer life here in monterey...i have neglecting my site and people around me. I get caught up in things and i guess in need my space. My mother called yesterday upset again...i hadn't called her in two weeks...ever since i moved out of my old places. She doing good, just in case anyone was wondering.
Also i got a email from a good friend of mine telling me that i'm not being appreciative of their friendship...which took me by supprise. I know i haven't been around them lately, but that doesn't mean that any negative enegry is between us...i asked her to explain her self a little more...the good thing that i can always count on her to be honest.

Other than that, i'm spending most of the time with my honey...cuz when i'm in san jo i only see her on the the weekends, so this summer should be good. We are talking a ballroom dance class together...were hoping with enough training this summer we can enter an intercollegent competition in novermeber...im thinking in salsa, cha-cha, and rumba would be a good start.

My honey and i just finished reading the dirty girls social club...it not what you think...it is actually a very good book. Its about 5 latina women that meet in college and go through their 20's together with some growing pains...i recomend it. I would say four star for a nice summer reading. Our next book will be "east of eden", but mean while she buys the book i'm going through "tuesdays with morrie" which seems to be pretty good. Also, their are tons of books that i need to finish, books that i started and haven't put some closure on...here's the list...

power of the myth
the elegant universe
ishmael
zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
the corporation
democracy matters

all of which i recomend
that is all for now...m o r e to come...
peace....

The Invitation

2005-05-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring with your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow; if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or even your own; if you can dance with the wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being a human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can risk disappointing another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES."

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn't matter to me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself; and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

~by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Guerilla is like a Poet

2005-05-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

The guerilla is like a poet
Keen to the rustle of leaves
The break of twigs
The ripple of rivers
The smell of fire
And the ashes of deprture.

The guerilla is like a poet
He has merged with the trees
The bushes and the rocks
Ambiguous but precise
Well-versed on the law of motion
And master of myriad images.

The guerilla is like a poet
Enrhymed with nature
The suble rhythm of the greenery
The inner silence, the outer innocence
The steel tensile in-grace
That ensnares the enemy.

The guerilla is like a poet
He moves with the green brown multitude
In bush burning with red flowers
That crown and hearten all
Swarming the terrain as a flood
Marching at last against the stronghold.

An endless movement of strength
Behold the protracted theme:
The people's epic, the people's war.

~Jose Maria Sison

sorry

2005-05-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys for depriving you of my juicy life, but i have been really busy with school. I get all caught up sometime and have to shut my self from the world. It better for both of us...i'm come out better at the other end, when i'm ready to come out. More pleasent even...

ok...i have a couple of things i have come across that have touched me...since i dont' have to much time i'll mix these things in to spice thing up during this down time....

continued....

2005-04-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

I later found out that the principal had a talk with the girls and told them that they can speak spanish and that she had spoken to Mrs. Beltran about the issue. Their have been other comlaints from other teacher about Mrs. Beltran. The little bit i got to know her i can tell she is some kind of control freak...student say she is really nice when other people are in the classroom....but when no one is there that she is very condesncening. It makes me sad to hear that adults take advantage of students just because they can't defend themselves. Student tell me she hasn't change...maybe she never will....that lady has some serious issues. I would wonder what would happen if you put a hidden camera in her classroom?

When i saw the students with the families outside the parking lot they presented me to their familty, i'm guessing the students told them i was the guy who defended them...it was nice meeting their parents.

ENGLISH ONLY!!!

2005-04-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

During the Shirakawa Snow field trip on March 4th, I over heared a conversation between Ms. Beltran to a couple of her 8th grade students. We were on the bus about half way to the snow lodge when some of the students began to speak in both in Spanish and English. Ms. Beltran told them not to speak Spanish and that it was English only, after which the students conceded.

I decided not to say anything right away because I didn’t know much about the teacher or the students. After we got off the bus, I walked up to the student and asked them why Ms. Beltran prohibited them to speak Spanish. They said that she would always do that whenever she hears them speak their language. One of the students, Ivy Jones, shared with me that her mother after hearing what the teacher was doing didn’t approve of it. The student went on to say that when no other adults are in the classroom Ms. Beltran is even more excessive, but when other adults are in the room she acts nicer.

A couple of hours later I ask Ms. Beltran if I could have a word with her outside. When we stepped out side, very respectfully, I told her about what I had overheard on the bus and asked her to explain her reasons. I interjected if prohibiting students to talk Spanish was part of school policy, or was it her own personal teaching antidote. She explained to me that the students were part of an English learners class and that prohibiting Spanish was part of her teaching method. I asked her if “English Only Rules” also applied outside the classroom, for which she answered, “yes” because it was still her class. After this I shared with her my experience as an English learner, conceding the need for students to learn the language of the country they are currently living. I told Ms. Beltran that, “I for one, as a college student, understand the importance of them being proficient in English as mush as possible”. But, I said, “language is part of the student’s culture and livelihood and because of that it is very difficult for Bi-cultural students to be cognizant of their speech patterns especially when unconsciously shifting from one language to the next. By denying them their language you deny them their person.” I told her that, as well intentioned as her methods were she couldn’t deny them that part of their culture; I emphasized that that was illegal.
After a couple of words from each side, she decided to end the conversation because that is the way she taught and she was not going to change. She walked into the lodge and she never spoke to me after that.

I come for the group hug...

2005-04-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

i have been really mellow lately...i don't go out much any more. Things like that are not such a novelty anymore. Now i rather go with some friends and enjoy some good company...this is especially true with my honey. I really like spending time with here...we talk about anything and everything, not to mention she is pretty cool and fun....never a dull moment. But also, because of time constrants i dont make time to spend with other people i care about...it is really hard to be a good friend, brother, boyfriend, son, uncle, godfather, student and have time for me too, all at once. But i feel that i lose contact with people who are cool peeps and i enjoy their company. School really takes a lot of time...and i really like to focus on it, because i need to. My word is soo important to me, so if i say something and don't do it i really feel bad...i need to be true to my word or it won't have it won't mean the same. I called my mother last night after about a month, she doesn't believe any of my excuses anymore...and she should their not good. It just i get caught up in the day to day that i block everything out. I hope people don't take i personal...i tend to do that a lot, i still care...i'll try to get better at nurturing the bond that have given me much joy in my life. It is hard work...but what isn't...you have to make time to take time...peace out.

some random thoughts....

2005-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

I got a ticket for a wrong left turn a couple of weeks ago...the car was still registered under my sister name and under her insurance. Except the car didn't have the insurance car with it...their trying to charge me $800 for that. My sister moved to texas a couple of weeks ago...what in texas? I have always had this thing against texas...i gues it the whole texas macho thing. I don't know...it just has never given me any good vibes.

Anyways, i'm going to have to ask her to email me the policy...i hope i can get it. Or else this is going to break me. I need to get insurance for my car to.

As much as i want to be on top of my finances, i always have this feeling of trying to catch up. I know i don't make a lot of money, but i don't spend lots either. I mean i don't go shopping for thing just for the heck of it. I do like to enjoy my self with trip and food...when you add this up it comes out to a good amount of money. Not to mention half of my income goes to rent. I am a pretty mellow person though, i don't need to much to make me happy. Plus i really like the time it allows me to focus on my studies...it como dicen, yo trabajo para sobervivir, no vivo para trabajar."

The guys from the circulo got together last night and played some poker...it was cool. I really thought i was going to take the pot...but i got over confident when i was leading....and i lost it all. It ok, it was onl a five dollar buy in...but i still don't like to lose, especially if i try. I'm getting a lot better, and i'm learning a lot of thing about how i play. Just a couple more refinments and i should be ready for the championship...i've heared people make a life out of this.

In one of my philophy classes we are reviewing the issue of race and gender during the suffrage and abolitionist movements. The was a certain amount of prioritizing when it came to these two struggles...as with all divide and conquer senerios, each group was jocking for position. Back then and even now, how do you negocioate such a predicament. How can you even begin to quantify each sides oppression. This came into conflict with lynching and the rape accusation. For the most part we know the myth of the black rapist but does that dismiss the actual rapes that might have occured. On the other hand, with such a political climate at the time lynchings were used a tool to terrorize the black community. This not only affected the people that were lynched but also the community that was destroyed by the angry white mobs...most of which were economically motivated because of the advances of black business'.

Alice Walker articuled this dilemma in one of her writings through a short story, the story of luna, a white activist in the south. As a feminist she entertains the idea of race and gender through the lens of domination, or the "Matrix of domination" she tries to provide an honest analysis through the character of both sides. The ciromstane of those time are very difficult to come to terms with...i'm still writing the paper. If anyone has any helpfull commments on the issue, they are welcomed.

Ok folks tha is all for now...talk to you soon. I'll try to make my blogs more frequent...

social beings, contintued...

2005-04-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

i guess what i'm trying to say is...
It is esay to find people to go get wasted with or do something unproductive...this type of situations fall at you feet left and right....our culture facilitates through different sphere in our life. I have had my share of moments with that, but now i'm looking for something else. I guess it would be the difference between quality and quantity...

The circulo allows me to nurture relationship, because that is what they are, with other people that normally would not be available to me. I know i wasn't comfortable with the options that were out there...and i know we all need a social outlet to cope with all the different things in life...so i made sense to create, or be part of the creation of a group of people that share these values with me. It is not enought to criticize conventional wisdom, it is also important to create alternatives that people can look foward too. This means actively participating in the nurturing of my spiritual needs. We are not alone in our human experience...nor are we unique in our suffering. In sharing our stories we find out that we live a parallel existence with other folks, which are experiencing similar things...this puts things in perspective.

I'm not getting any younger...so the more i allow my self to explore my possiblities and the more things i try, the better chance at finding certain things that will help me with my journey. Como dicen, "Caminar preguntando"...there is a great sense of vernerablity involved, i acknowledge. But "Courage is not the absence of fear" it is in spite of fear that courage becomes that much stronger. I need to let go of a lot of things that are holding me back...i know they are their, i know they impeed many things in my life, and i know that i need to do something about them sooner than later..."you have to make time to take time".

This translate in small and large was in my life. For the past couple of years i have been trying to identify certain things in my life that i have been posponing for a better time...then it dawned on my that there is no better time. We are not going to have this time in our live that is going to be special for anything in particular. It is in the everyday that we can make the most changes, and i'm not talking about a complete overhul of anything but a small but gradual shift. Not a resolution, but a life change. This takes time, we have been socialized most of our lives to be a certain way...it might take as much time to undo some of those things. But what else do we have to do...

I don't want to look back at my life an realize that their was so many things i didn't do...i want to say, i did what i could with what i had. I am in the prime of my life, yet sometimes i don't act like i am. So many things to see and people to do that it is hard enough to stay even. That's why i realize that the gradual approach is best, you slowing integrate things into you life and slowly make them part of you existence.

Their is so many things we can be, but it takes time and energy outsid of what we normally do to accomplished them. It is a daily stuggle for me...one that i'm slowly, day by day, starting to make sense of more and more. Shot for the stars, even if you miss you'll hit the moon.

Poker night

2005-04-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

The circulo is coming together to have a poker night...this is going to be our first social that i can remember. It should be cool...i really like playing poker...i don't know it think its the social aspect.

I think by nature we are social being...thus we constuct the "who we are" within the context of other people.

Cool Quote

2005-04-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcus....

Circulo de hombres.

2005-04-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

I would liket articulate a certain practice that i have been fortunate to share with a handful of other men for some time now. I guess it can be connected to the issue of my father and becoming a man. As i explore where i fit in as a man, i'm trying to place my selft within the spectrum...the absence of a male role model in my life has put me in a particular situation.

Still till day, though blessed with a handful of peers, i have not experiences of the dynamic of a consistent elder in my life. A couple of years ago I would ask my self the question of what kind of a man i would like to be? For some time at best, sometimes, for a fleeting moment i would see my self in the shoes of some of my professor in college. One in particular, whom struck me as a really cool human being, made an impression on me...but most important provided an example of the range of sensibilities from a masculine perspective. He seemed to genuine in his actions and approachable, which attracted me to him. From what i saw it seemed he was giving life his best shot and striving to be the best he can...and his life reflected that. He allowed me to see a man working out his daily life according to his principals and trying the best he can...i gues that is all you can ask. Striving to become better than what the status quo has prescribe us...becoming better men in the process. I gues what i'm talking about is conceptualizing patriarchy within the other "isms" in our lives...it goes beyond how we act toward women, but more importantly how we act toward other men. In retrospect, he gain my respect by compassion...which showed me the essence of human qualities. It didn't seem fake and it wasn't because he had to...and it probably mean more to me than it did to him, but it touched me-germinating a search for my own path...as a man.

Which brings me back to the circulo...
This group of men that i have had the opportunity to share my life with for the past couple of years have shared my journey of reflection and self discovery. I would like to focus not on the content that we discuss (for they are not unique to us necessary but anomolies of the human condition in general) but more on the process. I guess the technical term would be group therapy...but calling it that seems so steril. To me it seems to be a gathering of energies, articulating and negociating the universe within in a group setting. Basically, its people coming together and talking. But not normal small talk that consumes most of our time throughout the day, but really deep seated issue that perplex us in the everyday. What the space allowes us to do is to address serious issues without explaining them...that is what we are all their to do. I will not go into the significance of the process becuase i don't know enough about it to explain it, but it sufice to say that it is symbolic to that of a prayer. On a mechanical level is pretty simple, the way it works is that we go around in a circle and talk about anything positive or negative that we feel like talking...for what ever amount of time we like. Without any interruptions the person is allowed to speack on what ever they like to untill the have gotten everything out...this is what is refered to as a "carga"...or placing your cargas in the circle....as a prayer. Their is something so profound about speaking to other men about your human experience with all the emotions that come with it...good and bad. This actions cuts through so much static that is part of our daily, yearly, and life time baggage that are counter productive to our self actualization process. The process does not give any answers and it does not necessarly solve any problems...it does provide a space that allow us to come terms with the predicament...an outlet. We go through life with a very limited amount of outlets...most of the time filled in by our significant other or best friends...but these are only in extreme cases and not consistent.

While in the circle one day a friends poem came to my mind..."Your faith is confirmed in you favorit place to be..." In the context of the circulo i see it as humanization process because i was experiencing real human interaction which were meaningful and reciprical. Through out the day i had talk to many people but not until that night did i feel connected with the individuals across from me...not on a superficial day to day mundane. I guess it would be really difficult to be "real" with everybody, not to mention weird if not set up...but that makes the case even stronger to have an alternative space specially for this type of interaction. Especially for men...which i know it is very difficult to establish because of certain male characterisitic, socialized of course. That time is in many ways sacred for me becuase of what we all share in that same energry...though you are their to express yourself most of the time you are listening to other people speak, creating a sense of solidarity. What is said in the circle stays in the circle, creating a sense of trust and comfort...everybody is compelled to share an moment of their lifes in reciprocity and respect to the other people sharing in the group. We are building relationships of trust within our male group which does not ascribe to the normal way men interact...which is not favorable feelings and emotion that are part of all human experience, male of female. "To deny our emotions is to deny being human..." This type of possitive reinforcement is not part of our daily lives...which makes it even more important because it provides balance in our lives.

This is only part of what is helping me being clarity to my life...the challenge is how to make this exerience more applicable to our dialy lives...given the amount of static we deal with in the day to day. I don't know if this makes any sense but it is something that brings good vibes to my life and i wanted to share it. I see myself doing this for an indefinate amount of time...peace

"we are losing the ability to live life passionatly"
"life where people expose you to ideas"

Father continued...

2005-04-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

After reading my blog about my father a couple of times i felt it was a little angry. Maybe there is some pent up stuff that i just have not dealt with...quite frankly i don't know. I have to many people in my life that love me and care about me to try to figure out poeple i have not seen a such a long time. I don't know, maybe seeing him and talking to him about how i feel (in a good way) and having a conversation about it might put some closure on that. I really don't know what i'm looking for, or what i want to hear...but dicussing with him some thoughts and allowing him to express himself might fill some gaps that has been speculation on my part. How do you do that...i haven't seen in such a long time, and to just start with something so heavy is really difficult. I think i might...come what may...i'll keep you updated if i find him...

any suggestions on how to approach this??

Beautiful Quetzalli

2005-04-03T14:10:00.001-07:00

http://florycanto.net/TeteParkWalk1.jpg

This is my god-daughter...

My Father...

2005-04-02T11:42:00.000-08:00

My honey and I had an interesting conversation about fathers this morning. This is not something i think about on a regular basis, with the exception of fathers day. I have not seen my father for the past eight years and i don't feel the need to go looking for him. In fact i am pretty indifferent about it, i don't dislike him but i also don't hate him. Either way he is just another man for me...

With my experience i think fatherhood is a socialization process that is special because of our kinship. What i point out is that he was never there, literarlly i hardly ever saw him. Probably every couple of years...to his credit he was good about sending child support until i was 18, by mail. Do i think that his consistent child support should comended...i think if you compare it with all the dead beat sperm donors out there maybe...but from a point of view of the son he could of had, no, that was only the least he could do. Does that minimum effort merit love, I don't think so...but do i feel compassion for him, yes, just like anyone else in this world that has lived a life of hard knox. Even so, he knew he had another family and still went out and had another child with another women...my mother always tells me that she asked him if he wanted me (she was 40 and he was 45) and he said yes. I believe that to be part of the dark side of the male ethos that has affected many children lives in a dramatic way. The question is how flexible am i with that situation...in general i condem it especially if intentional, but spefically for my case i don't think i feel any simpathy for him in regards to me...because it could have been avoided.

Within my analysis of the system and my compation for people that struggle in general, i still haven't found where to place him. I guess the objectivity gets lossed and im blinded by circmostance. Even so, lets say i find a place that absolves him from certain things. That still does not make hime my father, in the whole sense of the word...at best i think i just gets him out of the negative. Which is not good or bad, it just is. Again i don't dislike him, i just don't feel i owe him anything...he doesn't exist for me, as a father...you don't know what it is if you never had it.

I live a happy life with my mother, i never felt the absence of a father...i had all the love i needed. I guess my concerns come in retrospect when i start looking at this as a man, all grown up, faced with the possibiliy of fatherhood in the future. My dad must be 70 by now...which also bring an element of time, or a lack of. The question is, lack of time for what...at this point in our lives what can we possibly say about anything. We are part of two different world, which at some moment in time in the past our lives crossed but does not exist anymore and hasn't for almost all my life.

I guess if people come from a family where the father is part of the nucleus of the family you cannot begin to comprehend where i'm coming from. It might even seem devastating...again i don't feel i lack much in that regard...i never had it (the sense of lacking comes of the sense of once having). Those i do wonder, when i see a father son interaction, what i would be like. But that is only speculation and projection of a better world largely based on many of our disatisfactions in live. It is just as probable that might life would have been worse off.

I turn out to be a good kid and i'm sure that he is happy with his first family...is it fair to leave it at that? Or should we meet and say our last good bye's and speak man to man....

Personally i feel happy with my life right now, nothing against him but i don't have an feelings towards him good or bad...just with anybody else i hope he has a good life.

Computer literate

2005-04-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

I just got a crash course on the html code...this is cool. I got so much to learn. I want to lean how to do code better...this is very exciting. I feel so behind. Does anyone know about some class on this stuff (imovie, html, webdesign) without the math?? Keep me in the loop...

I'm going to try to down load another picture...practice makes perfect.

Here are my compadres

2005-04-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

Here are my compadres, Ale and tin.

Memory lane

2005-04-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

Agustin's B-day
Originally uploaded by joserlopez.

This is agustin's b-day back in the day...he is still taking presents.

Some thoughts on food industry....

2005-04-01T10:47:00.000-08:00

Mother nature as a system of sustainabiliby it beautiful. It is based on balance and harmony. We are part of this all (animals, humans, and plants) ecosystem we call earth. Our sense of nature and natural goes out to what we know as the out doors...either peronally or on t.v.

It becomes problematic when those images we hold to dear to our hearts as natural way of living do not exist anymore, or not to a substancial degreee. In other words in an industrialized country we are experiencing less and less this natural circle of life. The animals we are are not just born, they are manufactored. And manufactured to specific specification...the tampering with nature and the natural sustainability of things has conditioned humans to take balance for granted at the expence expedience. Meaning we are currently at a time in history where we have established systems to fulfill our hunger for a certain type of taste...primarily meat. These conditions put animals at an extention of humans, for the use of humans...not independent of themselves.

Every culture in the past had a certain respect for the sacredness of life, regadress of the sentient being. Currently though, under the systematic manipulation of life, we are creating animals to feed our selves. Some 25 billion animals, most of them specifically made to be eaten, die every year. The whole notion of natural becomes problematic when you consider the unatural state of the meat industry...we are mass producing animals because nature loss the ablity to meet our demands. And it is only going to get worse.

We hear it every day with genetically modified food...currently companies specialized in genetic manufactoring are isolating taste molecules that will eventally relplace the real thing. This is well documented throughout the food industry. This is happening because of the market economy...which controls most of our lives. There is hardly anything natural about the way we live anymore...in fact we have to go out of our way to keep in touch with the natural pureness that mother nature still has. In no other time in history has human civilization affected the natural cycle of things as we do today...all over the world. Literally at the rate we are going only time will tell if we will be allowed to live this kind of life for much longer. Their is no sign that we are at all concerned with curving our consumption....like a big ship heading toward a collision, we need to start turning now...it not we are heading for a collision course. Within the elites of every country no one wants to back down, their is too much money involved, not to mention we are too use to this type of life style.

One person consumes about 100 animals a year, this was never natural...that is until industralization. Now everyting is systematic...given us our hearts desire at every moment. (of course this is only in first world nations). Again, do i believe everybody should be vegetarian, no, but do i think that we should curve our consumption, yes. And, given the amount of privielge we have i think we should even consider not to eat as many animals, or perferably non at all, because we have a plethora of choices to chose from. And all that stuff about protein...it is a marketing gimick from the meat industry. Their are prenty of food with just the same amount without the unneeded fat and cholesteral that meat comes with.

I grapple with this everyday...truelly, it is really hard to avoid it. Everything around us is has something to do with the other, everything we eat is part of the food industry that, by limitation of options, forces us to eat what they give us. But i still think we can make a difference in our daily life...i once read a quote that has haunted me for some time...."be the change you want to see in the world". It is easier said than done...but that doesn't be we stop trying...even a discipline as wonderous as science is based more on failers than on successes. peace.

No Validation

2005-03-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

I decided to not let my self to be dependent on people comments on my page for my source of inpiration. I have said on the title page...this is a page to self reflection, first and foremost, and second for my friend if they so chose to inquire about me. It kind of like running without weighing your self...it creates a distraction on the real goal: health. My goal with this log is for self enrichment and therapy...i will though in the first couple of week promote it until i feel people know about it. Don't worry i won't take it personal...just don't expect a present for any special occation...ha, ah. Just kidding, what i mean no pressure...even through i check my compadres site i hardly make my presence felt. I never find time...only enough to read it. But now that i have a blog i see the importance of feedback ever so often...especially as a form of communication or keeping in touch. late...

"Nurture you mind with great thoughts. To believe in heroic makes heros" ~Benjamin Disrael

Q-Vo-Le

2005-03-30T12:10:00.000-08:00

Food has been in my mind lately...not food but nutrients. A couple of weeks ago i went to GNC (the vitamin place) to get some vitamin supliments. I had never taken anything like this, i never believe in them unless i hear someone i know recomend it. That goes for any product, not to much excitment in my life when it comes to trying new products. Anyways, since i have been running more lately i realize that i probably need more nutrience to my body, especially becouse i don't eat any meat...not to mention i'm still a college student with no money or time.

I really need to keep an eye on my intake. A well ballanced intake. As i was muching on the garden burger for the fourth time this week i couldn't help but realize that i haven't eaten any fresh veggies this week. I think this is the same for every body, even the people that eat meat. They just eat what ever is most expedient without thinking twice about it nutritional value. I'm sure they are not getting all what their body needs.

Anyway, being a vegetarian helps me be more conscious about my eating process, i only limit my self to a garden burger diet when money is low, helping me to chose the food that is best for me. Now a day having a plate full of veggie is great, it like my meat...the more the better. In addtion, ever since i went to the phillipines i stop being a vegan...it is amazing the options that become available since then. I didn't want to became too invested in my personal opinion, not to mention pride, and not be able to realize that i wasn't ready for a vegan life style; finacially, skill, or knowledge. I still don't drink milk though, you know that stuff is 10% puss...and it still is approved the the food administration. I think i might be different for organic milk, but to what extent i don't know...cows have to be maintained in pregnancy stage their whole life (or at least until they stop lactating) in order to produce the minimum amount of milk. Soymilk for me still...i just got use to it.

I still believe in the vegan idea with regards to the commodification of the life as part of the market economy is something that is a microcosym of the larger violation of mother earth. At the same time I acknowledge the difference between the people of different gender, age, region of the world which probably cannot and probably should not limit their food intake...this is a first world privelege. But my peronal action will save the live of about 90 animal a year just my not eating meat. All of this is still a work in progress, i still don't have all the answers...como dicen to zapatistas "caminar preguntando".

Wow, that was a big tangent...not really i think it is all connected. But what i mean is that main point was to express my concerns over my eating habits...if anyone has any suggestion please...

I have to go to work now, but before i go i have a couple of anouncement...

1) Bravo theater in S.F. has produced a play about the Guantanamo prison history...i have heard some really good reviews. It started in England then it went to New York and now here...lets go support it.

2) Salinas is having a read-in, because the library are being threaten to closed people are rallying to get some attention to it and help them stay open. The read-in will take place at Cesar Chavez Library on william street on Sat. the 2nd of april.

3) For those of you that are interested in making films their is a new book out on how the editor of the movie "Cold Mountain" used Apple's "final cut pro" to edit this blockbuster movie. That might be interesting to read...it bring the movie making to the vernacular.

Ok peps peace out...

"Por Que Cantamos"

2005-03-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

Si cada hora viene con su muerte
si el tiempo is una cueva de ladrones
los aires ya no son los buenos aires
la vida es nada mas que un blanco movil

usted preguntara por que cantamos

si nuestros bravos quedan sin abrazo
la patria se nos muere de tristeza
y el corazon del hombre se hace anicos
antes aun que explote la verguenza

usted preguntara por que cantamos

si estamos lejos como un horizonte
si alla quedaron arboles y cielo
si cada noche es siempre alguna ausencia
y cada despertar un desencuentro

usted preguntara por que cantamos

cantamos porque el rio esta sonando
y cuando suena el rio/suena el rio
cantamos porque el cruel no tiene nombre
y en cambio tiene nombre su destino

cantamos por el nino y porque todo
y porque algun futuro y porque el pueblo
cantamos porque los sobrevivientes
y nuestros muertos quieren que cantemos

cantamos porque el grito no es bastante
y no es bastante el llanto ni la bronca
cantamos porque creemos en la gente
y porque venceremos la derrota

cantamos porque el sol nos reconoce
y porque el campo huele a primavera
y porque en este tallo en aquel fruto
cada pregunta tiene su respuesta

cantamos porque llueve sobre el sucro
y somos militanes de l vida
y porque no podemos ni quiremos
dejar que la cancion se haga ceniza.

~Mario Benedetti , Uruguay 1979

mission reconsidered

2005-03-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

So, i realized that the fact that i don't have internet access at home might make it hard to write on the blog every day. Though i am still commited to writing every day for a half hour, i will only write on the blog every other day...but i will make the effort in of writing as much as i can.

This is important to me because writing for me has always been a problematic process...spelling, grammer, syntax. In my hope to become more confortable with the simple act of just sitting down and writing my ideas out without worrying about a grade or some kind of judgment, i intend to write my heart out and see what happends. The mechanics are very important for me because i feel the creative part will eventually come...in fact i know it will. I just want to share my experience with the people i care most...with the hope that it could be used as a catalyst to addressed deep seated personal issues that only surface through serious reflection and also used as a communication tool to stay connected. Alright enough of that for now...

On a personal level for the past couple of year my reflection have compelled me into creating movement within my self. This movement has manifested in various way...the one i would like to talk about today is health. It is commonly say that the mind, body, and spirit and interconnected. Though we repeat this motto in our daily lives we hardly know what it mean. We never seem to get out of the analitical stage...meaning making though into action: life long action. This montra only makes sense within the context of our lives....our actions and the subsequent outcomes is what validates out ideas.

It has been four months now that i started running...not for dietary purposes or weight lose which has always been in my case...but for health reasons. I decided not to make my running a weight thing because the scale is like an emotional rollercoaster. Not to mention that your body fluctuates everyday, so weighing your self is not a good way of measuring progress...not to mention pychologically detlamental. The simple fact of running every day gives me the security that i am becoming more healthier every single day i go out and run. How do you quantify energy level, better metabolism, or good health? You can't if you are using the conventional ways. It take a while to know it any progress has been made...most important it should not be about weight but health. The best way to interpret your result are within a life time or at the very least give it a year before you start making any judgements. I guess what i'm saying is that i have decided to start running as a way of life...meaning i want to make this physical activity part of my livelyhood...not every time i feel my pants getting tighter: it a vicious cycle. In addition, i have been motivated to join various running events that inspire me even more because i can feel my potential go up a notch every time. Last year i started with a 10k (which im doing again this year April 10th, me and my honey), then i move up to a half marathon...that was amazing because i never knew i could do such a thing. I was suprised that i finished the 10k because i had never run 6 miles in my life. Right now i am running 6 miles a day (again after four months of consistency), average 5 day a week. Currently i am in the process of training for a marathon which i hope to do by the end of this year. Now that i have work my way up to here, i am more than confident that i can accomplish this. I once hear a friend of mine say he wanted to do the iron man competition before he was 30, i don't know if i would ever had time to commit to something like that but i do know that i would like to at least attempt a thriatholon (spelling?), biking (15 miles) , swimming (2 miles), running (6 miles). I guess what i am saying is that by acting on my dreams i am taking the idea to the end of its possibilities and the more i go the more possibilites open up.

I am really happy to be in this space right now and i hope it can remain a constant in my life...i would like to be the old man, 50, 60, running marathons.

that is all for now talk to you soon.

The blog experience...

2005-03-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

I just had a friend email her new blog too, martha lugo. She has pics and a profile and stuff...i don't know how to do this stuff yet, but i will. You should check out her site, i think you can connet through mine.

Speaking of connecting...wouldn't it be cool if a couple of us could interlink our blog, if and when you get one, and stay even better connected. Really i can see this happen...this way you can keep in touch with all your friends at once. Of course it has been brought to my attention that this in no way should substitute the physical contact....which is right but it think this will help with coming together more often because we are more connected. I really think this can work. All i need is for you to go to the main page and sign up for you page...i swear it only takes about two minutes. Promise me you will...it is way better than myspace, which i tried, because random people just show up ...

anyway all this setting up hasn't given me any time to do what i inteded to do, which is talk about me...

I hope to hear you soon throug this channel and even more hear your stories.

Quick Joke

2005-03-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

This is the second time i get this joke...twice from my female comrades. I guess its funnier is you are a female...

A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you haveany idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.

"The husband said, "What did he say about your 56 year old ass?"

Your name never came up," she replied.

My first blog

2005-03-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

I'm creating this blog in the library and i only have 4 mins left on my account. Short but sweet...i have been wanting to write more in my life...i have this crazy idea that it will make me a better writer. I like to think just like with anything in life...if you condition yourself to do more of it the better you will become at it. More to come soon...